Like it or not, we are all ageing each moment. Pores get bigger, moisture and luminosity are harder to maintain. Having mature skin doesn't mean we can't look fabulous! It is all about how well you are treating your skin and makeup is best to be worn (if at all) on well cared skin.I am not a make-up professional but a great believer in skin care which includes proper cleansing, exfoliating and moisturising. I am not an expert in makeup but skin prep is essential if you do feel the need to 'put on a face'. There are many reasons for women of a certain age to apply makeup such as to look better, to feel more confident, to help face the day, etc... and my reasons for make up is to colour up, cover up, brighten up, shape up and glam up. For normal to dry skin, always moisturise prior to applying foundation and if you have oily skin, use a primer to make sure the foundation stays in place. Make up with SPF is not a substitute for proper sunscreen as your ears, neck, chest, and hands are exposed but not getting make-up.
As we get older, our skin doesn't hold onto hydration like it used to so establish a skin care routine is absolutely necessary. Use a cleanser that doesn't disturb your skin's pH balance. Do you apply moisturiser upon waking up and before going to bed? Do you apply a face mask at least once a week? It is best to apply masks after exfoliation to allow the ingredients to sink . Use a serum (rich in hyaluronic acid) before your night cream for 24 hour moisturization.
All make up is not created equal so please choose wisely when it comes to brands. Here are some tips which I gather first hand to share with you:
Older eyebrows are often sparse, over-plucked, faded in colour or even non-existent. Best to shape and tidy them like you do to your hair using tweezers. I would avoid microblading or having them tattooed in place as a permanent feature . Nicely shaped eyebrows are the best instant fix for an older face.
Older eyelashes may be short and stumpy or thin and sparse. I suggest curling them and use a good mascara to bring out your full lashes and maybe consider dyeing them from time to time.
Your eyes may look undefined and your lips are thin and colourless. Know your colours and stick to the warm or cool tone. Warm tones need peachy pinks, orangey browns or scarlet reds while cool tones look best in true pinks like rose, fuscia or cherry red.
There will be all the natural signs of ageing on your face such as wrinkles, age spots, sagging jawline and marionette lines at the side of the mouth. To cover up uneven and patchy skin and to create an all over consistency, foundation and concealer come to our rescue. My take is to adhere to your skin care regiment, and never ever take the risk of going under the knife.
I personally don't rely on makeup to look more youthful but I do take care of my skin to increase hydration, retain moisture, and minimise the appearance of unevenness and discolouration. A good foundation and creamy concealer can work magic. Make sure you use a dab of translucent powder to the areas you have concealed to set and mattify it so that it looks more natural. To banish the 'stale and pale' look, use a highlighter followed by a blusher. To nourish your skin, you may even consider taking supplements which include B-vitamin Biotin or the protein Collagen, or adding organic protein powders yo your diet. I love face oil for the readily absorbing feature (I have super dry skin) and I am using organic, natural 100% pure oils like argan, calendula, coconut, rosehip and sea buckthorn to remove buildup and environmental pollutants while giving my skin a deep conditioning treatment at the same time.
I don't generally wear makeup at all unless I have a photo shoot, a more formal function to attend or having a presentation to deliver. The skin requires breathing and clogging it with layers of products is the last thing I need. The main thing is to look your best without appearing too heavily made-up.
Do you wear make up? Why do you think you need it?
6/24/2019
6/19/2019
Are you Alone or Lonely?
I am 50, single, living alone, and loving it. I know this is not for everyone and it could be a stigma for some societies when a lone older woman is ostracised as someone unattractive, undesirable and even insane.
Being unattached could be a nightmare for some but an absolute bliss to me. I enjoy my freedom too much.
I am alone but not lonely. There is a huge difference between the two.
I never travel with anyone. I hate checking in with others. I need the space and be able to do whatever I want when I want, without having to compromise. That is my definition of travelling.
Do I miss sex? No. I had my fair share in my 20's. Occasional fling when I travel? Yes. But not good enough to sacrifice my very happy single state for. I have stopped looking since mid 30's as the reluctance to look for love by somebody outweighs my need to find anyone who would fit into my life without ruining it. I prefer to think of myself as strongly independent. I love the spontaneity that being single allows. I get to live my best authentic life on my own.
I have learnt to be happy in my own company since I was little and as I am now much older, my self-containment and sufficiency have somehow crossed the line into being set in my ways. I like coming home to my own quiet sanctuary and not having to check in with anyone, fighting over what to have for dinner or the remote control.
My only concern is that there will be physical challenges to overcome sooner or later. My best bet is that I'll either move into an elderly home or become actively involved in communities which offer welfare services and programs to older women, while using technology for social interaction. There will be internet forums and facebook groups to hook up with like minded souls. Senior co-housing with friends would be something worthy to check out if you like the idea of living in a community with lots of privacy, costs less than living in a nursing home or assisted living.
I have been wondering about the people in my life who I counted as friends. What constitutes true friends and why we have different friends and/ or amount of friends at different times of our lives?The meaning of friendship changes throughout our life span. Friendship requires effort and nurturing. I used to be fiercely loyal to my circle of friends during my uni years but unfortunately we have drifted apart as we lead different lifestyles. We are under no obligation to bow endlessly to the wishes of another person. The world doesn't revolve around your friends and life goes on regardless. A friendship needs to be sustained by vivid interest on both sides. I no longer manage to have a decent conversation with those who are married with kids. We speak a different language and losing interests in each others' lives is the culprit. We are no longer who we once were. Yes, I have saved the memory of my former best friends to my memory bank but I have to accept that some friendships are not meant to last forever.
We don't meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path for a reason. Think of the population and your encounter with the few out of the billions. Romantic or platonic, not all encounters are supposed to last forever. I have met a lot of 'bridges' in my life, they were there as a stepping stone, transporting me to the next level of my life journey. I came to know myself so much better after a 7 year relationship with a man whom I never had the intention to marry. Then there are 'road-blocks', they came to delay me into something better if I could just use a little patience. I have many 'teachers' throughout the years and they are there to teach me important life lessons. I have had heartbreaking experiences and there are the 'angels' who appear in my life to protect me in times of difficulties, needs and desperation. Some people are 'guideposts', representing and symbolising something that I want. And finally there are people who are my 'tribe', who see me and accept me for who I am , those who are here to stay for the long haul. So I suggest you consider the role each one of your 'friends' plays and be willing to let go when the time comes. You will always have yourself for support!
Being unattached could be a nightmare for some but an absolute bliss to me. I enjoy my freedom too much.
I am alone but not lonely. There is a huge difference between the two.
I never travel with anyone. I hate checking in with others. I need the space and be able to do whatever I want when I want, without having to compromise. That is my definition of travelling.
Do I miss sex? No. I had my fair share in my 20's. Occasional fling when I travel? Yes. But not good enough to sacrifice my very happy single state for. I have stopped looking since mid 30's as the reluctance to look for love by somebody outweighs my need to find anyone who would fit into my life without ruining it. I prefer to think of myself as strongly independent. I love the spontaneity that being single allows. I get to live my best authentic life on my own.
I have learnt to be happy in my own company since I was little and as I am now much older, my self-containment and sufficiency have somehow crossed the line into being set in my ways. I like coming home to my own quiet sanctuary and not having to check in with anyone, fighting over what to have for dinner or the remote control.
My only concern is that there will be physical challenges to overcome sooner or later. My best bet is that I'll either move into an elderly home or become actively involved in communities which offer welfare services and programs to older women, while using technology for social interaction. There will be internet forums and facebook groups to hook up with like minded souls. Senior co-housing with friends would be something worthy to check out if you like the idea of living in a community with lots of privacy, costs less than living in a nursing home or assisted living.
I have been wondering about the people in my life who I counted as friends. What constitutes true friends and why we have different friends and/ or amount of friends at different times of our lives?The meaning of friendship changes throughout our life span. Friendship requires effort and nurturing. I used to be fiercely loyal to my circle of friends during my uni years but unfortunately we have drifted apart as we lead different lifestyles. We are under no obligation to bow endlessly to the wishes of another person. The world doesn't revolve around your friends and life goes on regardless. A friendship needs to be sustained by vivid interest on both sides. I no longer manage to have a decent conversation with those who are married with kids. We speak a different language and losing interests in each others' lives is the culprit. We are no longer who we once were. Yes, I have saved the memory of my former best friends to my memory bank but I have to accept that some friendships are not meant to last forever.
We don't meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path for a reason. Think of the population and your encounter with the few out of the billions. Romantic or platonic, not all encounters are supposed to last forever. I have met a lot of 'bridges' in my life, they were there as a stepping stone, transporting me to the next level of my life journey. I came to know myself so much better after a 7 year relationship with a man whom I never had the intention to marry. Then there are 'road-blocks', they came to delay me into something better if I could just use a little patience. I have many 'teachers' throughout the years and they are there to teach me important life lessons. I have had heartbreaking experiences and there are the 'angels' who appear in my life to protect me in times of difficulties, needs and desperation. Some people are 'guideposts', representing and symbolising something that I want. And finally there are people who are my 'tribe', who see me and accept me for who I am , those who are here to stay for the long haul. So I suggest you consider the role each one of your 'friends' plays and be willing to let go when the time comes. You will always have yourself for support!
6/10/2019
Traveling SOLO doesn't stop at 50
I have known people who never travelled alone who questioned my sanity when I told them that I never travelled accompanied because it ain't travelling anymore! Sure we have very different definitions of travelling but please allow me to explain why I love travelling alone, and it doesn't stop at midlife. To some people, it is a selfish act when the only person you need to think about is yourself but there is nothing wrong with that as long as you respect others and their freedom to choose.
Getting out of Hong Kong at least once a year is a prerequisite to my wellbeing. Life gets stale and need refreshing every so often. I have never liked this city (or any other cities) due to the political situation, the tropical weather, the lack of space, the size of the population and the relentless noise, let alone an influx of mainland Chinese gathering in this city of 8 billion people, shopping in suitcases everywhere you go. I was brought up in Melbourne, migrated to Toronto for a while, took long sabbaticals regularly in the UK, Scotland, France, Iceland, and I am about to leave for Finland in a couple of weeks for a change of scenery and some fresh air. To be honest, I hate flying and the logistic parts involved but the escape is so worthy despite the discomfort sitting in a confined area for over 10 hours, , being interrogated at the custom and jet lag from long haul flights which take me weeks to recover.
I love how exposing myself to interesting and unfamiliar sights, sounds and tastes when travelling alone make me a changed person, every time. Never much of a sightseeing person, I prefer immersing myself in another culture and live like the locals. Taking the road less travelled. So here are some of my reasons why I love travelling solo:
- It is simple as I don't need to coordinate with another person who has a family to feed or who believe he/ she is indispensable at work to take time off to travel. I have complete freedom to make my own itinerary and all the decisions that ensue.
- I am not going to sacrifice my dream of husky-sledding when none of my friends are interested. It is on my bucket list!
- I am my best company when I have the means to truly listen to my own thoughts and entertain my own dreams. I get to experience the world unfiltered by anyone's chatter or perspective.
- I get to meet people who share my hopes and fears.
- I can do anything I want and say no to what I don't because I am not obliged to entertain / answer to anyone but myself.
- It is an empowering experience as the trip inspire me to tackle things in life I would otherwise avoid to try.
- I am always learning through my experiences (good and bad) when I travel alone.
- Knowing that I am capable to survive (and thrive) on my own is confidence boosting.
- I play a different role by becoming who I want to be. No one knows me and they only see who I am today without my background.
- I learn about my limitations and become more forgiving . I love myself more in the process.
- I learn about forward thinking and the importance of flexibility when I need to come up with feasible solutions to different scenarios that crop up when things don't go the way I have wanted.
- I am the only person to blame and responsible for.
- I do enjoy listening to and speaking a different language, even just a couple of phrases.
- My confidence soars as I prove to myself that I can take on new challenges and deal with problems. I learn to work out contingency plans when I am not getting what I want or getting what you don't want and be happy nevertheless.
- Experiencing the unknown is mind-opening. I get to test my assumptions and challenge my beliefs when I allow myself to be vulnerable.
- I am less reluctant to reach out for help and be more trusting.
- I learn to face and overcome my fears . I am aware that I can't control everything and that's part of the adventure of my choice.
- I learn to live with less which leads me to figure out what matters most to me.
- I can use the time alone to unwind, meditate, or pursue my passions and interests.
- Travel as much as possible while you can still do it before our body parts disappoint us.
I see travelling alone as a way to get away from what I know. I have to say goodbye to things I am familiar with , get my ass out of the comfort zone and place myself in the middle of chaos on purpose. I choose to become a foreigner, an outsider, a refugee. New experiences are the reason we live. I was head over heels with Scotland and even had a book written about it. And then it is a gateway to begin all over again when I refuse to resign myself to the ordinary and mediocrity. Sometimes we need a physical escape not only from whatever city we live in but also one from the familiar day-to-day interactions. Distancing myself from friends and families could be exactly what I need to appreciate their existence. I also become a better person being a global citizen with more understanding and empathy.
Have you planned your next trip yet?
6/03/2019
Feeling invisible or irrelevant?
I don't know about you but I do feel ignored and under-served from time to time and I wondered if there was something wrong with me. Am I not sharp and eccentric enough to catch people's attention? Am I ageing so quickly that no-body gives a shit to this woman of a certain age anymore? And on a serious note, if I am to remain invisible, I won't be hired or valued in this society when youth and green are much sought after. It hurts when others behave in a way that makes me feel that I have nothing worthwhile to contribute to civilisation, completely blinded to my personality and abilities. I am not expecting catcalls and whistles but invisibility cloaks my ability to be validated in meaningful ways. The yardstick used to measure a woman's value is so vain and superficial!
Ageism is a problem on a global scale. Why on earth was the word coined in the first place otherwise? But no one should be denied a job or opportunities due to our age when we have so much wisdom and life experiences to offer and bring to the table after treading the earth for 50+ years. No beauty products out there would deliver the promise of turning us back to our 20's because it is all about our attitude and consciousness.
I am pretty selective when it comes to befriending women in particular and I must admit I admire those who take a stance and choose for themselves. Knowing that we are enough just as we are. As a solopreneur myself, I bow to those who thrive on their own terms, comfortable with fluidity and their ever evolving natures. These are the women who can't be invisible but stand out in the crowd shining with pride and celebrating success.
There is no such thing as age-appropriateness or agelessness. Trained as a personal stylist, I know exactly what suits and what not and I hardly spend much time coordinating my outfit before heading out the door. I am relaxed and happy about my imperfections and limitations in the reflection of the mirror. I give myself the permission to age on my own terms. I am fully aware of the fact that I ain't no spring chicken anymore but relish a more mature me. I wear what I love and constantly seeking to try something new. Quality is what I look for these days (as opposed to quantity). Right now I am proactively looking for work or what am I sticking around for? I can only binge watch CSI for so long but I definitely need a purpose to make my days meaningful. I find myself travelling the uncharted territory more often, focusing on the journey while being content with mediocrity. So what if I am a dabber / scanner? I don't have to be a master in everything I do!
I do believe I have the power to shape some part of my reality. Every time I learn something new or develop a new habit I bend reality. I shape the world around myself to my own liking. My current circumstances are less than ideal but every body has problems and I learn to deal with my failures and fuck-ups, knowing that this too shall pass.
If you have known me for quite some time, I have no appetite to fight my ageing self. On the other hand, I wear my birth date on my skin for everyone to see. My age is not a secret and I know deep down I have earned my less than perfect face and body. There are more medical problems one can handle but this is what machines do. They don't run like new and body parts / organs rust with time.
So what is there to relish being a woman at 50?
My vulnerability and ignorance
Spontaneity
Resilience
Bright and articulate
A writer whose words inspire and encourage
A prolific creator
Honesty and transparency
Authenticity
Comfortable in my own skin
Highly organised
A natural born teacher / leader
Fearless to changes
Courageous
Adventurous
My imperfect beauty
Speaking my mind and standing up to my beliefs
Creativity
Resourceful
A fierce warrior
And what are yours?
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