What will you retire to?

I feel I have been 'retired' for years since I last earned my paycheck teaching English. For five years I was surviving on a bit of inheritance from my deceased father while working my ass off starting my own Image Consultancy business which generated zero income and not a single client. Yes, for 5 fucking years! There is only so much in the bank and right now I am about to apply for government aid for the unemployed. This certainly feels like retirement but without the financial backup. I simply can't afford to retire at this stage nor I ever want to!

I am 50, way below the standard retirement age of 65. Retirement has never been a word in my dictionary as I like to feel useful, productive and contributing in some ways to the society. Alas, the situation is unexpectedly different from what I hope to be and no wonder I am depressed as there is nothing to look forward to as soon as I wake up in the morning, fretting about how to kill the time I have before another day is over. I need goals, plans and the flexibility to adjust when circumstances change. I am adamant not to be a retreater or a coach potato.

The word 'retirement' connotes a different meaning to different people. There are as many paths as there are human beings in the world.

• It is about stepping back from the world of work (to pay the bills), engaging with the world away from the offices and cubicles of paid employment but staying connected to their former work while developing new fronts
• It is about relaunch, rewire, reinvent, moving to second / third act, staying engaged/ involved in the world of work with flexible hours and no commute (working from home)
• It is about trying new things, meeting new people and having a different schedule, while pursuing unrealized dreams
• It is about going back to work part-time, freelance or taking up consulting work, while tapping into the creative side of their brain
• It is about upgrading their skills and education to stay relevant
• It is about discovering what really matters and transform their work / personal life into something meaningful
• It is time to relax, taking each day as it comes without agenda
• etc...

I suggest we should start thinking about the ageing process as in changes about how and where we work, how and where we live, and how we organize our personal and social lives. Decision about what to do and when to do it, taking stock of who we are and who we want to be with new found passion, hobbies and possibilities. We need to identify our purpose which means digging deeper, knowing our motivation behind it, and expecting a steep learning curve as we gather our tools and know-how.

I for one don't believe it is too late to change as I believe I can start on a new path at any time. I intend to challenge the status quo, rediscover my interests, and reinvent myself at this phase of my life.I can imagine myself leaping into a new career. I have to examine what I love and have often thought about and asking why I want to change is critical. Albeit heartbreaking to close my business, I need a reboot and a new vocation, something that stirs my soul and speaks to my heart. Writing, podcasting and voice acting are some of the many possibilities I shall explore. Instead of struggling and hating going to work everyday, I am interested in on-going work which is better aligned with my current values and priorities. I wish to connect with a community of like-minded individuals such as participating in face-to-face workshops and courses. I fantasize about using my professional experience to serving my community in new and challenging ways which involves lifelong learning. I want to invest my time following my passion such as creating artwork and selling them. 

There is new freedom when you have new discretionary space, income, time and possibilities. There are new horizons when we have greater focus and clarity about where we want to take the freedom, what we are curious about, how we want to spend our energy and how we are going to move into being useful in a different way. Then there is new simplicity when we decide we don't want complications anymore in our lives. We are all in transition and continue to be so between midlife and our last day. Stay true to yourself. Be strong, vulnerable and compassionate. Remind yourself there is a time to stay back, learn from others and allow others to help when appropriate. Stand up for what is right no matter what. You are a leader born for great things. 

So what will you retire to?